Whenever you have success, there’s always going to be someone out there to make excuses as to why that person or organization became successful. In other words there is always going to be someone who is jealous and in doing this makes themselves look completely moronic.
Ladies and gentlemen I introduce you to Ryan Lambert, writer and blogger for Yahoo’s PuckDaddy a blog focusing on all things hockey. Mr. Lambert is pretty much a self-proclaimed hater of all things Detroit which would include the Detroit Red Wings. With that said you really have to take everything he says about the Wings with a serious grain of salt.
Recently Lambert wrote an article entitled Eulogy: Remembering the 2010-11 Detroit Red Wings where he attempts to blast the Red Wings on everything from their play in the Western Conference semifinals against San Jose to the tradition of the Octopus.
Now I have no problem when someone criticizes the Red Wings. Like any other team in the NHL the Red Wings can garner their fair share of criticism. However when that criticism becomes ridiculous and redundant I begin to have problems with it.
Here is some of what Lambert had to say…
For example, it was the 20th straight season in which the Red Wings qualified for the NHL playoffs, a notable and praiseworthy accomplishment. After all, it’s truly difficult to have one of the highest payrolls in the league for 14 of those years, then make the postseason in an NHL where 16 out of 30 teams do so once a salary cap is put in place.
Here is a perfect example of someone hating a team simply because of their success or the fact that they have an owner who actually cares about winning. This is why I’ve never got on the Yankees for doing what they do year in and year out. If you have a problem with what the Yankees have been doing, which is spend more money than any other team in baseball, go and blame Major League Baseball for not implementing a salary cap. Oh yeah I almost forgot, the NHL has a salary cap and have had one for over five years now. If I can also remember correctly the Wings have remained successful despite the salary cap and have even won a Stanley Cup during the salary cap era. Also just because you have high payroll doesn’t necessarily mean your going to be successful on the ice. Go and as the New York Rangers.
It was also the 15th straight year in which Red Wings fans had the temerity to refer to their fair city — where “fair” must mean “decaying hellhole most C.H.U.D.s wouldn’t be caught dead living in” — as Hockeytown.
Wow, someone making fun of the City of Detroit, I love the originality there Lambert. Tell us something we haven’t heard before. Oh yeah and if you’re wondering a C.H.U.D. according to the Urban Dictionary is a Canibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller, which is funny because I was going to refer to Lambert as a CHODE.
But wait, it gets better!
The Wings were in the bottom half of the league in percentage of seats sold for the second straight year. Not that you’ve heard anything about that from any media outlets, which are all too quick to praise the Motor City as a great market despite the fact that it is not.
To that end, it was about the fourth straight year in which Detroit fans blamed the previous condition on, everyone say it with me now, “The Economy.” We get it.
Hmm… I guess not everyone is a millionaire like Ryan Lambert is. In case you haven’t watched the news Lambert, the economic issues in Detroit are VERY REAL ISSUES and could have very well of impacted the attendance to games. No everyone can afford $4.00 a gallon in gas to get down to the game then have to pay for a $65 dollar ticket.
And to further illustrate just how irrational every single Detroit Red Wings fan truly is, it was the sixth straight year in which the world was force-fed one giant load of recycled crap after the other — not unlike the last person in the Human Centipede — about how Chris Osgood(notes) is one of the best goaltenders of all time.
(Of course, it’s only the sixth straight year because, as Detroit fans are reluctant to recall, he played for the Islanders and Blues for three seasons in the early 2000s, and was markedly terrible, as is his wont.)
I’ve never heard anyone make the claim that Osgood is one of the best goaltenders of all time, however you cannot overlook the accomplishments he’s made in his career. Wings fans are also very aware of his time with the Islanders and the Blues and yes his time with those teams could have been better, but they could have been worse too. Not to mention some of Osgood’s biggest critics are Red Wings fans themselves.
But lo, the battle cry of, “He has 400 wins!” became the official one for rockheaded bandwagon jumpers, and rumbled across the landscape nonetheless on Dec. 27, when he finally accomplished the feat, requiring only 744 career games to do so. This of course spawned the deluge of unreadable articles about how Osgood is a first-ballot Hall of Fame goaltender along the lines of Sawchuk, Roy and Dryden, all of which ignored the fact that Osgood’s career numbers more closely resemble those of Jussi Markkanen, and his winning percentage behind those fabled Red Wings teams on which he won three Stanley Cups is enough to be considered still-quite-bad.
First ballot Hall of Famer?
No.
Eventual Hall of Famer?
Yes.
Osgood is 1 of 10 total NHL goaltenders with 400 or more wins. Of that top 10 he is on the lower end of GAA (2.49) and on the higher end of winning percentages at 53.90%. And spare me the argument of the only reason Osgood has been able to accumulate these numbers is because of the team he had playing in front of him. I don’t hear anyone questioning Grant Fuhr, Patrick Roy or Martin Brodeur’s accomplishments because of the teams they had playing in front of them.
In addition, it was the 13th straight year in which we were all lectured on how brilliant Ken Holland is as a general manager. And that much is certainly true, as it’s not just anyone who can start each summer making shrewd personnel decisions such as asking, “How much do you want this year, Mr. Lidstrom/Zetterberg/Datsyuk/Fedorov/Yzerman/Shanahan, sir?”
This is the same intelligent GM-ing mind that certainly did not successfully throw two darts at nothing in particular in the sixth and seventh rounds and back into a pair of the most dynamic two-way players of their generation. After all, Holland has replicated the success he found with Datsyuk and Zetterberg since then with stunningly excellent late-or-even-mid-round picks such as… ahem, umm.. well. Look it took a lot of skill to draft those guys there, alright?
So is Lambert suggesting that in order to be a successful GM you have to hit home runs in the later rounds each and every time? Apparently Mr. Lambert has never heard of guys like Johan Franzen, Valtteri Filpula, Darren Helm or Justin Abdelkader. Not exactly home run type players but have certainly contributed in a big way. And oh yeah, they weren’t drafted in the first round either. Lets also not forget guys in the minors like Gustav Nyquist, Tomas Tatar, Brendan Smith and Jan Mursak who certainly have the potential to make a big splash in the NHL. But why wouldn’t he hear about those guys? It would only disprove his argument. Also Mr. Lambert, rushing players up to the NHL simply isn’t the Red Wings’ style.
Their theory is that they, unlike the fans at the other 29 arenas — nearly half of which don’t sell tickets better than the Red Wings do! — should not be subjected to quote-unquote rules about quote-unquote throwing objects on the quote-unquote ice. Hell, they’ve been tossing one octopus on the ice after the first goal of every game for as far back as anyone can remember, and this touching tribute to another slimy, spineless creature (Tomas Holmstrom(notes)) must be allowed to continue. And, I was told, this is something Wings fans couldn’t possibly have a sense of humor about, bringing the number of subjects Red Wings fans don’t find funny to an even 1 trillion. This is all for the good of the game, they say.
After all, this is the 59th consecutive year in which “The Octopus” has been “Thrown.”
It’s become a part of Red Wings culture, Detroit fans will happily tell you. Though to call it a part of the “culture” is to wrongly imply that anything that goes on at Joe Louis Arena can be defined as “human intellectual achievement,” or that Red Wings fans are human, have any intellect, or are capable of achieving anything at all.
(But as this is a fan base that positively revels in using the Neanderthalic misogynist term “bitch” as and homophobic putdowns as derogatory slurs against any people foolhardy enough to disagree with them even slightly, what more can we expect? Myopic, self-serving viewpoints are their specialty, and they win the Stanley Cup for that competition every year in a runaway.)
Player safety, player schmafety, right? Let’s just spend a whole night chucking one cephalopod after another onto the ice like children, unnecessarily delaying the game so some poor schlub can come out and carry each carcass off the ice, with his enthusiasm declining on the same trajectory as Kirk Maltby’s(notes) career, despite it saying right on the back of the ticket that this is expressly prohibited — though that assumes all the illiterate Detroit fans can make out anything that isn’t a picture of Arby’s curly fries actually says, so I may be asking too much.
First, Red Wings fans don’t throw an octopus on the ice after the first goal of every game. Second, I can’t remember the last time or anytime that a player, coach, referee or fan was hurt because of an octopus was thrown on the ice. Third, should hats not be allowed on the ice after a player scores a hat trick since throwing stuff on the ice is quote against the rules unquote?
And though it’s the 17th straight year we’ve had to hear about how Kris Draper(notes) was once traded to the Red Wings for a dollar (about as much as he’s worth, just FYI), it may also be the last. A sad day indeed for all people who are fans of longtime NHLers who averaged eight goals and 10 assists a year. It leads one to wonder how they will replace him with a quarter-decent NCAA prospect on a league minimum salary. I’m sure Kenny Holland can do it though. That guy’s a genius.
Not everyone on a team can be a super star Lambert. Kris Draper for the longest times provided something that a lot of teams in the NHL don’t have, depth.
Wait. That can’t be right. San Jose beat Detroit? In the playoffs? Two years in a row? Hold on a second here.
From what I was led to understand, this Detroit team was a juggernaut, one that could not be killed by conventional weapons. And certainly, they couldn’t have been 86’ed by a guy that a TV commentator (who once cried on national television) called “gutless.”
If you haven’t done so already, now might be the time to break out your scuba gear, because the flood of excuses that’s about to come out of Detroit will be enough to accurately recreate that whole Noah thing.
Hmm… that’s funny I haven’t heard any excuses coming from Wings fans on why the Wings lost this series. Sounds to me like Lambert is struggling and just looking for anything he can to bitch about.
Lambert finishes his article with this gem…
It is, however, unfortunate. I was really hoping the San Jose Sharks could have wrapped up this series in a sweep. But that they came all the way back only to be killed off by Patrick Marleau(notes) and Joe Thornton(notes) kinda made the extra week of listening to everyone fawn all over them worth it.
But take heart, Wings fans. There’s always every year until Lidstrom retires. Just try to ignore the fact that you’re boned after that.
Sorry Lambert, the argument that the Wings are going to be in trouble when Lidstrom leaves is almost as old and tiring as the argument that they are too old.
It’s time to get some new material.
Source: Yahoo Sports
