The Tunnel Talk Crew gathered in the tunnel again this week and immediately launched into an important discussion about BJ’s memberships.
The warehouse club, allegedly.
Once everyone finished behaving like mature adults, the Crew turned its attention toward Detroit City FC’s future home, AlumniFi Field, and one of the most important questions surrounding the new stadium.
What should the stands be called?
WHAT SHOULD THE ALUMNIFI FIELD STANDS BE CALLED?
The nominations include legitimate Detroit City FC legends, along with several suggestions with significantly less chance of surviving a meeting with the sponsorship department.
Among the contenders:
The Butchers’ Bleachers
The Shakira Stand
The Sex Eagle Stand
And several other ideas best left to the tunnel.
There is also soccer to discuss.
Unfortunately.
DETROIT CITY FC’S FRUSTRATING LOSS TO LAS VEGAS
The Crew revisits Detroit City FC’s baffling loss to Las Vegas Lights, a match where Le Rouge created enough chances to win comfortably and converted precisely none of them.
Detroit generated opportunities but failed to turn its attacking pressure into goals, leaving the Crew to dissect another night where the performance and the result told two different stories.
TOMMY SILVA DELIVERS LATE DRAMA IN MIAMI
Next comes Detroit City FC’s 2-2 draw in Miami.
With Le Rouge searching for something late, Tommy Silva delivered a dramatic equalizer to bring Detroit level and give the visitors a chance to steal all three points.
Then came stoppage time.
Chisom Egbuchunam stepped to the penalty spot with an opportunity to complete the comeback.
The resulting penalty traveled toward the goalkeeper with roughly the same urgency as AlumniFi Field’s original construction timeline.
Detroit escaped with a point, but another match ended with the Crew wondering what might have been.
THE DEFINITIVE TUNNEL TALK GUIDE TO TULSA
With DCFC heading to Oklahoma, Jam provides the definitive Tunnel Talk guide to Tulsa.
The itinerary includes:
Visit the Woody Guthrie Center.
Check out the Bob Dylan Center.
Admire Tulsa’s Art Deco architecture.
Find some pasta.
Drink heavily.
Try not to end up at another strange house party.
Simple enough.
HEAT, SHORT REST AND JAM’S TULSA CURSE
The Crew also considers the oppressive Oklahoma heat, FC Tulsa’s short rest, and Jam’s impeccable record of attending Detroit City FC matches in Tulsa without ever watching Detroit win.
Naturally, confidence remains high.
BEN MORRIS REACHES 100 DETROIT CITY FC APPEARANCES
The episode also recognizes Ben Morris joining Detroit City FC’s 100-appearance club, another major milestone during his time with Le Rouge.
Naturally, Tunnel Talk treats the achievement with all the dignity and restraint listeners have come to expect.
So, almost none.
LIVE UPDATES THAT WILL NO LONGER BE LIVE
There are also live FC Tulsa updates guaranteed to be several days old by the time most listeners hear them.
Elsewhere, the Crew gets into gout, sprained ankles, political shout-outs, and another carefully researched episode number selected through the respected journalistic process of pulling something directly from thin air.
IT’S TUNNEL TALK
It’s Tunnel Talk, serious soccer analysis for people smart enough to listen to a more serious podcast, but unwilling to do so.