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The Tigers’ ingenious plan to put fans to sleep during the shitty 2019 season

Big news outta Comerica Park on Tuesday as the Tigers announced that Matt Shepard will officially take over play-by-play duties for the team in 2019.

But hold your shit everyone, that wasn’t the only surprise the team had in store for the lucky fans.

Not only will “Shep” get the play-by-play, but the human doses of NyQuil in Kirk Gibson and Jack Morris will officially split the color duties alongside the Tigers’ new TV guy.

Via Mlive.com:

Last September, when Detroit Tigers television announcers Mario Impemba and Rod Allen were abruptly yanked from the broadcast booth after a post-game incident in Chicago, it was Matt Shepard who was sent to Guaranteed Rate Field the next day to do the broadcast on short notice.

Shepard, a veteran of the Detroit sports media scene who handled Tigers play-by-play duties during the final month of the 2018 season, will get the job on a permanent basis in 2019.

FOX Sports Detroit has called a press briefing on Tuesday morning to announce the move.

Allen will also be replaced by in-house options: Former Tigers Jack Morris and Kirk Gibson, who both have called games for the Tigers regularly in recent years, will split the full-time duties.

I’ll tell you what, Chris Ilitch is a goddamn genius. Get any combination of these guys in the booth and fans will be asleep by the third inning. It’s brilliant, especially on the cusp of what we can only assume will be a shitty 2019 season of fighting for the cellar in the AL Central. It’ll be like it never happened!

I’ll tell ya what though, I’m sure come August Tigers fans will be begging for a post game brawl over a broadcast booth chair in the south side of Chicago.

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