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Page Zero has learned that the truth behind the sudden and devastating news concerning the Nickelback halftime show during the Detroit Lions Thanksgiving Day game at Ford Field.
According to sources close to the situation, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell ordered the Canadian band play in Detroit after weeks of dirty play by the Lions. This dirty play included repeated prank phone calls to 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh, the NFL taking the Falcons’ word that Detroit defensive end Cliff Avril kicked Atlanta QB Matt Ryan when he was injured on the turf and the Lions collectively sacking Tim Tebow seven times last Sunday.
Goodell reportedly hand-picked Nickelback after seeing the type of male demographic that enjoyed their music. Goodell also hoped that Nickelbacks music radiating through Ford Field Thanksgiving will still give the Lions a seemingly tough and generic look but pussified style of play. This is a common trait of Nickelback fans and the band themselves.
In response to Goodell’s decision, the Lions dispatched Ndamukong Suh to New York City earlier in the week in order to appeal the Nickelback penalty. Unfortunately Goodell was blaring “How You Remind Me” during the entire meeting in which Suh had to cut short.
He (Suh) ended up leaving New York unsuccessful.