Kellen Winslow, who recently played for the New York Jets last season was apparently caught administering some self love inside his Cadillac Escalade at a Target parking lot this past November. He was originally caught in what looked to be the act by a woman who was first engaging in small talk only to see little Kellen fully erect in the drivers seat.
When cops showed up though Kellen was slouched in the drivers seat claiming he was lost looking for a Boston Market which is lie No. 1 because who still goes to Boston Market? Anyways no penis was out however he did have plenty of Vaseline and synthetic marijuana laying around his truck.
Here’s an excerpt from the Star Ledger:
As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account.By the time police arrived, an officer found Winslow allegedly “slouched in his seat and moving around.” Winslow sprang to an upright position when the officer arrived. When the cop asked Winslow what he was doing, Winslow allegedly said he was looking for Boston Market but was lost.
The cop noticed Winslow was wearing “dark colored” sweatpants and wrote that “his genitals were not exposed.” But the cop also noticed “two open containers of Vaseline on his center console” and plastic bags marked “Mr. Happy” and empty plastic containers of “Funky Monkey” scattered throughout the vehicle.
Fortunately Mr. Winslow wasn’t charged with lewdness but did plead guilty to the marijuana possession. Unfortunately though for the 31 year old 2014 free agent he might find some difficulty getting work in the NFL this upcoming season.
